Quick and Dirty

It’s been a long while since I’ve updated so I’m making this one a quick and dirty bullet point list. Sorry, not sorry. Also, it’s basically all pregnancy stuff.

  • I am 15w2d. We are officially out on Facebook. It’s still weird having everyone know about this pregnancy.
  • I created the new blog. If you are interested in following and don’t have the link because you aren’t on Twitter or my Facebook friend, send an email to the email address on my about page. Please let me know who you are. I want my fellow infertiles to be able to follow but it’s a much more personal blog (names and pictures and stuff) and even though it’s technically public I don’t want to share the link with just any random internet person. I am not posting the link here because I don’t want to link it to this blog in any way.
  • My latest OB appointment went well. The midwife was running behind and pretty manic but she still took the time to listen to and respond to all my questions (and I had several). No ultrasound but she found a heartbeat with the Doppler right away. We shared our news on Facebook that day. The biggest thing that came out of the appointment was that I swallowed my pride and asked for a Zoloft prescription. So I’m now back on a very low dose of Zoloft.
  • I’m missing the first group appointment because of our family vacation. Which means I won’t have my next actual OB appointment until September. The midwife did ask that I do a phone consult with her before my trip. I’m really nervous about the group appointment in September. One of my biggest social anxiety triggers is coming into a group where everyone else already knows each other but nobody knows me. But there’s nothing I can do about that now.
  • I had my genetic counselor appointment last week. Long story short they aren’t terribly worried about genetic stuff. They told me a bit more about the inv9 and are going to do a blood test to confirm that I have the standard deviation that is considered benign. There was also a concern about spina bifida because my half-sister’s daughter has it, but because she’s my half-sister’s daughter and not my full niece they said my chances of having a baby with it are the same as anyone’s. I have to go in this week for the second part of the SIS blood test and that inv9 test. If anything is abnormal they’ll call me. Otherwise we wait until August 25 when I have my anatomy scan. Depending on the results of the blood tests and anatomy scan we will determine if further testing such as an amniocentesis is recommended for me. Fingers crossed it’s not.
  • I also met with a social worker but it didn’t go exactly as planned. I had scheduled to meet with the OB social worker after my genetics appointment so I didn’t have to make a second trip to the hospital. She called me that morning and left a voicemail that she was not going to be in because her kid was sick, but I hadn’t listened to the voicemail (I mistakenly thought it was something else, my bad). So when I went to the OB desk to check in and they told me she wasn’t there I was all kinds of confused. I was already feeling really raw from the genetics appointment dredging up some family stuff. They had a back up on call and they called her to come talk to me. I really felt I needed to talk to someone so I waited for her. She was nice (she usually works in L&D and NICU) but not entirely the right fit for me. I still need to call the regular OB social worker and schedule another appointment.
  • Speaking again of swallowing pride, I broke down and asked for help on Facebook last week. Thanks to that a friend of a friend is going to be driving hubby into work for the rest of this week. I still have to pick him up because of his half-day schedule but it cuts my driving in half and allows me to sleep in a bit in the mornings. We are hoping that by next week he’ll be able to drive himself. He’s had some major changes at work that I can’t discuss here but I’ve been doing my best to just be there for him and support him with everything.
  • Hubby also dropped a bomb on me that it is possible that he might get orders to another base before he has the surgery on his other foot. My understanding had always been that they were keeping him here until he’d recovered from both surgeries because we have here one of very few MTFs that do that particular procedure. So now I’m paranoid that he’s going to get orders in the fall and we’re going to PCS when I’m 7 or 8 months pregnant.

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This is a really important post that I’ve been putting off for a while. You see, around the same time that we found out I was pregnant, in fact the same day that I had the bleeding and went to the ER, I found out some major information from my dad. According to him, I have an inverted 9th chromosome. This was something my parents learned during the amniocentesis when my mom was pregnant with me and never told me until now. In fact, from what my father said, my mother didn’t/doesn’t want me to know and I’m not supposed to tell her that he told me. Without getting into the whole long story of my family and secrets like this, it’s pretty fucked up.

Mind you, this is something my nearly 80 year old father told me that they learned more than 32 years ago, so it’s possible he’s in some way mistaken. But, BUT, whatever you can say about my dad’s short-term memory lately, his long-term memory is on point. I really have no reason to disbelieve him.

I did some quick and dirty Google searching and from what I learned inv9 is one of the most common chromosomal abnormalities and is generally considered benign. However, some studies have linked it to infertility and miscarriage. And I read a couple scary stories about multiple miscarriage from people with inv9 on message boards. So, you know, this should at the bare minimum be something they told me when I started all the fertility testing (that they totally knew about) and was asking questions about family history.

Obviously I’ve been rather hyper-focused on this pregnancy and because of that I haven’t been thinking a whole lot about this. But when the genetic counselor started talking to us at the OB orientation I got nervous. I checked the box on the form saying I wanted to talk to a genetic counselor but haven’t heard back. So we are starting with the low-level blood testing for possible genetic issues and we’ll go from there.

My feelings about this are really complicated. I’m (obviously?) pissed at my parents for not sharing this information sooner. Especially my mom if she truly told my dad she didn’t want me to know (from what he said they first had this conversation at a point in their marriage shortly before they were separated for a couple of years so it was a difficult, contentious time for them). It also makes me nervous about this pregnancy and any other possible future pregnancies. Anything that increases chance of miscarriage is no good for my peace of mind. I’m relieved to know now but wish I could have found out sooner when I wasn’t pregnant and testing to confirm would have been simpler. But nothing I can do about all that now. So we go forward. I’ll let y’all know if I found out any more info about me personally or this pregnancy or inv9 in general.

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