Let me warn you lovely readers by stating that I am cranky today. I have been cranky since yesterday. So just, please, take that into account when reading this one. Thanks.
I have had a particularly long and busy week this week. Outside of my normal home and school obligations I had:
- an opportunity to see a friend I hadn’t seen in over 10 years
- a very important event for my husband’s career
- extra time in the sculpture lab to finish a project that was due
- a spouse appreciation brunch put on by my husband’s squadron
- a bridal shower for a good friend
It was like this week never stopped. And tomorrow I get to go back and spend more time in the sculpture lab to finish the second part of the project. This would be fun except that we’re still on the boring, uncreative learning how to weld projects right now.
So, the last two items on the list (brunch and bridal shower) were today. I was already worn out from a long week, sleep deprived thanks to my cat being especially obnoxious lately, and cranky. So I was not really in any position to deal with people. But I’d committed to these events, which were supposed to be fun, so I was determined to go.
The brunch was a disaster. One of the members of the senior leadership who put it together said grace before we ate (that in itself was an issue but a much smaller one for me personally) and in this grace he said that “taking care of the kids is the most important job.” Those might not have been his exact words, but they were close. What (I believe) was intended as a statement of gratitude for all the hard work spouses do came off as incredibly insulting to those of us who don’t have children for whatever reason. So with my raw nerves now struck, when we were eating one of the ladies at the table with me asked if I had children. When I said I didn’t she said “really?!” Because I’m going to lie to you about that? It was just a bizarre response, although I have found that in the military community it is actually not all that common not to have kids (had she known my age I suspect she would have been even more surprised). Then, during the brunch there was some feedback that was given to the leadership that was really important. That said, some of it made me feel guilty about the volunteer work that I do for the squadron and like I don’t do it well enough.
I left brunch wanting to break down and cry, but I had a bridal shower to get to. So I sucked it up and went. I had fun but it was also somewhat stressful. I’m not a terribly extroverted person and the only person there that I really knew was the bride. So I kinda sat quietly for most of the shower. And there was both a pregnant woman and a woman with an infant there, so that didn’t help when I was already feeling sensitive. I definitely had a glass of wine with my lunch even though I generally try to abstain when I’m not on my period.
So I came home and cried to my husband and told him that I shouldn’t be around people anymore. I just hate feeling like I’m too sensitive and all raw nerves lately. I’m never sure if what people are saying is legitimately upsetting or if it’s just me. But I’m also not sure if I should be giving people as much benefit of the doubt about their intentions as I do. I think sometimes I’m too accommodating of other people’s points of view at the expense of my own. But I am so very over the experience of going to an event that supposed to be fun and coming home in tears.
Conception's Bitch 